I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
