we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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