i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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