addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
