You were right. It hurts to walk today.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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