So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
