What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
