Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
