Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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