"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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