Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
