i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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