Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
