Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
