WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
