is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
