That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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