How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
