Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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