Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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