Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
