Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
