you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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