I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
