So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
