my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
