we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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