Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
