My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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