This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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