its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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