Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
