1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
