Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
