I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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