I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
