I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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