If i come over, it means nothing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
