A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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