Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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