Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
