I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
