Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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