Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
