Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
