she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
