How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
