Already got asked if we're dating
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
