oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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