I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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