You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
