Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
